04/28/2018 Does your loved one feel lonely?
If so, you may be unsure how to help them, especially if you can’t
spare much time or find small talk tricky. But these suggestions will
smooth the way for you, and you’ll feel glad you made the effort when
you see the rewarding results of your kindness.
Provide company
Company is invaluable to a lonely person; the
briefest of visits will brighten their day and give them fresh, new
thoughts to sweep away the old, gloomy ones. It might suit you both to
set a day and time for calling. That way, they’ll have something to look
forward to and you can plan your other commitments around the little
event. If you live too far away to call in, a regular phone call or
Skype chat will also bring joy.
Listen
Don’t worry about what to talk about when you make
contact with your lonesome loved one. They’ll be glad for a chance to
talk for a change, so you can sit back and listen. They’ll welcome your
sympathetic ear, too, so let them moan about their problems if they must
– you may be their only listener. If they’re elderly, ask them about
the past; they’ll delight in sharing their cherished memories. If
they’re younger, ask about their hopes and plans; perhaps they could do
with some guidance and encouragement.
Admire
A person living alone may feel further isolated by
the thought that no one knows or values them. This is particularly
likely with an older person, whose prime of life was long ago. Show an
interest in your loved one’s or relative’s past and praise their
achievements. They may have children or grandchildren – even if they
seldom see them – in which case, sure to take an interest in them, too.
Admire any family photos and mementos you’re shown; it may be a long
time since they’ve had anyone to share them with.
Offer help with meeting people `
One of the biggest favours you can do for your
lonesome friend is to help them organize some social life. Encourage
them to contact old friends and invite neighbours in. If you know of any
other people in need of company, see if you can put them in touch with
each other and help arrange for them to meet. Find out what social
groups there are in the area and encourage your loved one to join one.
Choirs, book clubs, knitting groups and gardening societies all offer
good company, as do many other gatherings.
Encourage new interests
An interest keeps the mind absorbed and stops
negative thoughts slipping in, so urge your loved one to take up a new
pastime. Suggest they try out some new recipes or take up wine-making,
perhaps. If they’re artistic, tell them to get the paints out; if they
have a musical instrument gathering dust in the corner, ask for a tune
to get them playing again. The possibilities for pastimes are endless.
Loneliness is avoidable, and once you’ve got that
message across to your loved one, they’ll be able to turn over a new
leaf and start looking outwards instead of in. As for your visits or
phone calls, they may need to be rescheduled around their bustling, new
lifestyle!

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