By Recruitment 4 Love Inc.

06/01/2011
Dating Is a Numbers Game


We can be our own worst enemy when it comes to dating. It is so much easier to settle when we don’t know what all of our options are or when we think we are out of options. We’re at a point in our highly civilized world where there are so many different avenues to meet our special someone, yet the quality of the people we are meeting seems to suffer so tremendously. It’s because we have to do ALL of the work ourselves! We don’t take the necessary time to go through hundreds of facebook messages, emails, voice mails, texts, BBMs, dating profiles, etc. on a daily basis. It’s a wonder that we haven’t given up on dating all together. The theory about monogamy and Darwinian survival can be discussed until the cows come home, but the truth is that everyone wants a companion. And so it all comes down to dating the right way. How do you date the right way? A tip from the experts: Don’t feel obligated to give someone a second chance.
We’ve all done it once before (or a few times, let’s be honest). We’ve dated that guy/girl that was NOTHING like our ideal. Why are relationships kept in the fridge past their expiry date? Obligation is the culprit. Feeling hesitation or doubt indicates something is wrong. Why do we ignore that feeling instead of doing something about it? Did you know that it actually makes us more low-maintenance individuals to know exactly what it is we want? We only become flagged as high-maintenance when we are in the wrong relationship. We are nagging for this and complaining about that, trying to get what we knew was never there in the first place. We need to stop falling in love with someone’s potential.
If you’ve ever worked in sales, or been on the hunt for a new job, or have shopped around before a big purchase, you know about the Law of Averages. With dating, it’s the same thing. We need to go through a certain number of people before we find that one person we really connect with. With sales, the average is 1 in 10. With purchases, it’s 1 in 4. With dating, it tends to be 1 in 100. Let’s be honest, we do not have the patience nor time to put in the effort and go through all of these frogs before we find our prince/princess. Serendipity, shmerendipity. It takes work! It is frustrating to play the numbers game but if we keep in mind that practice makes perfect, then we are one step ahead. To ensure that we never just settle, we should be selective in choosing our mates and completely understand the difference between our wants and needs. If something about your date goes against your core belief system, do not pass GO and do not collect $200. As we move forward, we can take comfort in knowing that our next bad date is one date closer to perfection.